Multi-Genre Paper (Diary)

Anita Pandey writes; We had to write a multi-genre paper that was fictional AND factual and showed different opinions on one topic in different forms like letters, phone calls, etc. I was interested in the Ted Bundy case so I decided to do it on him and try and show a different side to him. A more humanized side that people rarely show in the media.

Original file: Multi-Genre Paper (Diary)

Dear Diary,

This will be my last and final entry. The date for my inevitable execution has been scheduled for tomorrow at 7 am. I will not lie to you. I don’t want to die. I admit that. However, neither am I frightened by the thought of being executed. Through the love of god I have been able to find what I had desperately sought after for so many long years of emotional torture. My psychopathology was always like a monster. The more I ran from it, the closer it seemed to come to consuming me. Finally, I ran to god for help and realized that I don’t need to run anymore. I learned through god’s love that I could love and am loveable. The good lord is my final destination. I converted to Hinduism during my years of incarceration. I came to realize that it is only within the sacred pages of the holy Gita, where someone like me can find some peace. I’ve matured during the past year. Believe me. I’ve grown in the past year, and I’ve learned a lot of things about myself in the past year. My only misgiving is that I will never be in position to apply the principles of the Gita on the streets, where I’d like to apply it. On the plus side, I find that the pressures put on me in jail have actually permitted me to enter into a period of growth. Prison has helped me because it forces me to live in the here and now. I used to live each day at a time just to protect myself. Now I live each day and each moment to try to expand myself. I began considering more esoteric things that I never would have considered before. I engaged in yoga and heavy meditation for 12-14 hour periods per day. It gave me time to reflect on my rage. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. I reaped rewarding benefits from my dedicated meditation. It calmed me to the extent that I no longer needed to be tranquilized or be sedated with Valium in order to control a violent urge. Many people had told me that I would never succeed in relieving myself of homicidal compulsions and thus I would never be free from taking sedatives either. My response to that was “Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he becomes.” I have proved that statement of mine. Through god’s help, I have diligently and successfully dealt with those terrible feelings I had and have not touched a sedative in 4 years. This to me is success. To me, this success feels greater than the success I felt upon receiving a 4.0 GPA or the pride I felt upon being elected “Executive Assistant to the Governor” of Washington, Daniel J. Evans. The bliss I feel upon finding god is beyond that of any scholastic or materialistic achievement I obtained in my life. I admit that I had gone completely non-compos mentis and I take full responsibility for the crimes I have committed. I am not proud of them and I wish they never happened, but unfortunately I cannot undo my past. It’s a terrible thing, but I have to try and make it right. Going over cold cases with the FBI really jarred me a couple of times and knocked me back from where I thought I was to where I ought to be. I don’t recall exactly when it happened, but while I was facing the interrogation from the detectives-which was not easy for any given session-I slowly began to understand what I had to do next, how I had to reconstruct my life. I’m in a lot better shape now. I don’t worry about the death penalty. Worrying won’t change things one iota. I’ve come to terms with that threat. I am not afraid to die tomorrow because I know that death is the ultimate liberation for me. I except expiation from god and I pray he will have mercy on my soul.